Oh what a night!

I am beginning to wonder if I’m cut out for life in the tropics! As time passes, I seem less and less able to cope - physically or emotionally!!


Everyone is being bitten, Francis has around twenty bites per leg, bless her however, she is coping well and has tiny dots to mark out where she has been bitten. I have, thankfully, very few bites but those I have start off with a little spot which progressively spreads …and spreads. The one today takes the form of a circle on the inside of my lower arm and measures 4” in diameter. I am also suffering with bad headaches, dizziness and nausea.

None of that though, compares with last nights little episode…..

It is very, VERY quiet here at night. After bedtime, all there is to listen to is the sound of guard dogs barking in the distance, the sound of the house creaking, insect or snake noises outside the window ….and my heart pounding in fear! Occasionally, I hear Alan snoring in his room which I find extremely reassuring.

Last night, I went to bed to read. Francis and Alan had also turned in so I was, as ever, deafened by silence! With the light still on, I began to doze off. Suddenly I heard, what sounded like a spider wearing stiletto heels scuttle under my bedroom door and run across the floor to the corner of the room, under my clothes rack. I sat bolt upright in bed and even though I was terrified to look, I began adjusting my vision to see what creature was causing this noise. As suddenly as it started, the noise stopped! I was incredibly scared and imagining all manner of beast lurking at the foot of my bed. As the seconds passed, I started to wonder if I had in fact dreamt the noise – I have a habit of dreaming all sorts of nonsense. As my pounding heart began to return to a normal beat, I saw it…..

I have seen many cockroaches in my time here but by far THE BIGGEST cockroach I have ever seen was crawling up the outside of my mosquito net ....not six inches from my face!!!
....I panicked!!!!
....I screamed!!!!
....I picked up my torch,( which I always sleep with) and whacked it off the net!!!

It landed with a thud on the floor under my bed (that’s how big it was!). I had no idea what to do so did the only thing I could think of and screamed for Alan as loud as I could.

Alan & Francis burst into the room, clearly thinking I was being attacked by a lion…! I could barely speak, I was so terrified but through my gibberish, they realised I was telling them about it being under the bed.

Just like Superman, Alan sprang into action with his trusted can of Doom!  A long squirt but still the horrible bug lived on..! It staggered out from under the bed and zig-zagged across the floor, all the while pursued by Alan who, after one final squirt, despatched it to the afterlife!

When it was properly dead, Alan removed it and they left me to recover.

Sleep did not have the decency to take me…! Hours passed with me conjuring up images which were only marginally better than imagining I could feel it crawling on me!!!

It was, without doubt, a most dreadful night.

If only I could have yelled out the words I’M A CIVIL SERVANT, GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!

In the groove (at last!)

My placement here comes at a cost… personal sacrifice by me and financial considerations to WAG. A few weeks into the job, I was feeling quite disheartened at not being utilising fully. Hence, the beginning of last week saw me having a ‘frank and open’ discussion with my employer.


I turned up for the meeting wearing my VSO t-shirt, a symbolic gesture as it states across the front “Sharing Skills – Saving Lives”. I delicately explained my ideas on how best we could utilise all of our time better and share skills. I was careful in my choice of words and of course, kept everything in the Zambian context. Little use comparing worklife here with that at home but, that said, I am here for a short period and want to make the best of my time. Notwithstanding the resource and financial constraints, there is a great deal of time wasting.

My boss, to his credit, was very receptive to my ideas…so much so that I now have full responsibility for planning and delivering an improvements programme that will easily take twice as long as I have left here! I embarked on the programme with great gusto last week and am delighted at how enthusiastically it is being received by my colleagues. I’ve also managed to squeeze in a few IT training sessions for the young volunteers, which been extremely rewarding, they devour every single piece of information with huge fervour.

Apart from work, my Zambianisation is coming along nicely. I have twice managed to cook nshima, and am a dab hand at it (if I say so myself!). When I tell the locals that I served it with a concoction of tomatoes, onions and pumpkins, they all howl with laughter – to them, the combination is like us eating carrots & peas with custard!!

I have also invested in a made to measure traditional outfit. I used all of my western bargaining skills and paid exactly the asking price! My local colleagues tell me off, saying I pay too much, but the cost of 100,000 kwacha, inclusive of material and making, works out around £21..! Look out for me wearing it out on special occasions…Mother of the Bride outfit, maybe?

The honesty that a half-shared language brings is amusing. When the skinny young girl at the dressmakers was checking how the skirt fitted, I quipped that I am a little heavy around the midriff….”yes, you are fat” she replied very matter-of factly. I like to think it was not intentionally that she destroyed my self esteem in one fell swoop!

Will finish now but MUST acknowledge the work of colleagues at WAG for incredibly restoring my laptop to full use. Work here is difficult enough but when the laptop failed, I was really up the Swanee and worried that I’d not get anything meaningful done until my departure. I was staggered to receive a call from a guy in ICT! He told me to take the laptop to an internet café and he would fix it remotely. To be honest, I thought he was nuts, how could he be in Wales and fix a laptop in Zambia?! But he did just that!! Other than our call today, I don’t know him… but thanks very much Rob!

The REAL Zambia...

What a weekend I have had....   I had wanted to get out of Chipata to see the real Zambia so asked the young volunteers at my work if anybody could take me. They said they would think about it and let me know.  So there I am at 8am on Sunday, sitting in my pyjamas, eating an orange picked from the tree in our garden when Jacob rang me to say he was on his way to collect me, he arrived 3 minutes later!   A Toyota pick-up truck was our mode of transport.  Jacob's mother and elder brother were in the cab with Jacob, his younger brother and me standing in the back looking out over the cab.  What a drive....!  It took about an hour in the blazing sun - I had no hat or sunglasses as I had not expected to be exposed to the elements but it was awesome!  The beautiful, bumpy red roads of Africa surrounded by lush greenery were a joy to travel along.   I was clinging on for dear life as we sped along - it was a like a bucking broncho ride at times as we would suddenly veer to avoid a pot hole!!!  I kept thinking if only Nat & Soph could see their mother...!

Amazingly, miles from anywhere, we encountered easily 100 people who were holding a procession to celebrate Palm Sunday.  It was a brilliant spectacle, all were dressed in their best clothes, carrying crosses or  reeds to represent the palms.  We stopped to allow them to pass by, the singing almost made me cry with how wonderful it was

When near the village, we left the red road and drove off-road for about a mile - through all manner of bush and grassland ...it was fabulous!   Finally, we arrived at the village, which is called Msubazi.  A traditional community of small scale farmers.  I have brilliant pictures but sadly as my laptop is still out of action, can't post any.  The homes are traditional round structures with lovely thatched roofs, there are corals made of branches of trees containing cows.  Pigs, goats and chickens roam freely...as do lots of children!  The villagers were very welcoming ...making a huge fuss of me. Everybody came to shake my hand - there is a special 3-stage handshake here which I have finally mastered!  After all the introductions, we all sat under a tree to chat.  I had brought along my little photo album which they all loved looking at.  They were stunned at the pictures of my parents.  It was all so lovely.  Village life is hard, none of the trappings of modern life we have come to expect like running water and electricity.  The farmers work very hard to make enough to feed their families but life there seems idylic.  There is a bore hole nearby from which to collect water, the children walk 2km to school every day ...and community spirts is palpable.

At the end of my visit, I was presented with a LIVE CHICKEN to take home!!! 

Best weekend ever :-)

Technology...aarrgghhh!!!

Having MAJOR IT problems!  My laptop has stopped working ...as has my Hotmail a/c.  I did manage to read a few recent emails but don't think I can access it any longer!

Sorry to use the blog as a messaging portal but needs must I'm afraid....

Hope & Aid Direct :

Best wishes to all the Easter Convoy team!  Wishing you all a safe & successful trip.

John Desty : When you deliver the welding equipment to Branka, please give her and her son ALL MY LOVE and take lots of pics!!  Thanks xx

Graham Crame: Arrive back at Heathrow on 17th April at 17:30 - More than happy to hand over Albert Edward for what seems like the trip of his life!!!  Please give your mobile number to Maggie Beecher so that I can get in touch when I land. 
Maggie, can you get Grahams mobile number to Geraint please?  Johnnie has his number if you don't.

Johnnie Evans:  CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a grandad!!!  Please give my love and best wishes to Jonathan & Louise (and baby Dylan of course).  As you are my 'convoy husband', I wonder if this makes me a Granny?  Hope my other 'grandchildren' Tilly & Roo are not too put out at the new addition!!! 

WAG :

Judith : Thanks for trying to sort out my laptop problems ....no doubt you thought you could take a well earned break from sorting out my issues?  As the saying goes, just when you thought it was safe to pick up the phone....!!!  

Merthyr Office : Can't believe I'm writing this but I'm missing you and am ready to come back to work now please!

Thats it for now.  Hopefully I can get my laptop up and running soon.

Be it ever so humble.....

Ours is one of three houses in a walled compound with 6ft steel gates.  It sits at the foot of the most beautiful hills:

The area we live in is called Moth, not sure why, somebody said it was an acronym for Men of Steel Hats but I’ve not been able to find out why. Moth is in the most prestigious area of Chipata; our neighbours are all wealthy business people, mostly Zambians of Asian origin. Sadly, I have yet to meet any and probably never will. They live behind high walls, only venture out in large 4x4’s and most have big signs on their gates warning of guard dogs or armed security!

By UK standards, our Chipata home is very basic however, in comparison to the large majority of Zambians, we live in total opulence! We have a lady, Brenda, who comes in twice a week to clean and do our washing. Myself, Francis and Alan thought long and hard about doing our own washing but decided that with unemployment running at over 80%, we would be far better employing somebody. As it turns out, Brenda’s husband is too sick to work so without her job, they would be unable to pay the rent or buy food. She is wonderful and has quickly become a friend. She tells us so much about local life and has an almost insatiable thirst for knowledge about our lives. I was telling her that my daughter is marrying in Aug 2011 – she finds it incomprehensible that it takes that long to plan a wedding! It takes two weeks here! There are no taboo subjects with her, she takes delight in asking me all sorts of questions!! When discussing the wedding, she wanted to know much I had been paid for my daughter. When I come home, looks like I need to have a word with Stephen! ‘Bridal Money’ is a fee negotiated for girls and is to compensate the parents for any money they have invested in her education etc.
The homes in our compound share the services of a night security guard, Mr Lunghi. He is a man of few words who doesn’t seem to want to become a friend. When I offered him a cup of tea he replied simply, “Madame, let me work”. We didn’t have to think too long about employing him, we were told it is a real necessity as burglary is rife. I certainly sleep better knowing he is outside, keeping watch!

The house itself is great although the plumbing and electrics would be condemned at home. An electrician came to repair a broken wall socket. When finished, he mixed up some mud from the yard and used it to stick the socket in, no screws here!!

For the budding plumbers (and one in particular), here is the outside of our bathroom – this is how to plumb a bath in, Zambian style:

When I think how afraid of spiders I used to be.  Until very recently, I used to plug the bath overflow holes with cotton wool. Now I sit in the bath and can see straight outside where there are hundreds of spiders and snakes lurking!!!
My Dad would love our garden.  We have the neighbour’s guinea fowl and chickens running around.  They come onto our veranda to poop!  We have trees offering up all manner of wonderful fare. Some we have not yet identified but of those we have, there are oranges, avocado, paw-paw & cashew nuts. Picking an orange off the tree to have with breakfast is definably one element of Zambia that I will sorely miss!

One step forward, two steps back!

The more observant may have noticed that I rarely talk about work on this blog. It’s not because there is nothing to discuss, believe me there is. I have to respect my colleagues, who are working in the most difficult of circumstances, and for me to recount amusing stories at their expense would be unfair. However, worklife trials and tribulations encountered this week cannot go unmentioned….


Monday morning: I set off for work, cycling happily in the direction of my office. I was feeling particularly pleased with myself as, despite a few set-backs on progress last week, I had decided on a strategy that would bring improvements to the normal snail-pace progress. So, there I was on this beautiful morning, feeling good and fully integrated with the many people walking along the roads. (Another great thing about Chipata is the entire community commutes to work on foot or bicycle).     What could possibly go wrong?
 
I was brought to an abrupt halt when, out of nowhere, my colleague Sam called out to me. He wondered where I was going. Since he knew full well that I was on my way to work, I wondered why he wondered where I was going. He casually informed me that today, we were moving to a new office. A new office?!! A new office?!! Nobody told me about a move to a new office!! Considering that we are a small team of five at the most, to say I was surprised is an understatement! After finding out more of the move, I believed the story that the opportunity to move had only come about late on Friday and accepted the office move with relish. It did, after all, mean we were to leave our humble premises and move to a new building that is fifty thousand times better! (No, that’s not an exaggeration!)

The new office is a 12ft x 12ft room on the second floor of a four storey building. It’s a kind of managed office block. There are many and varied other business tenants within, each with a room roughly the same size as ours.
When I arrived at this, our ‘new office’, it was still an empty room. My colleagues assured me they would be moving the furniture over that day and said I should come back tomorrow to begin work afresh. I did manage to squeeze in a meeting with a funding organisation and visit to the internet café before returning home …frustrated that my efforts to actually do some work were thwarted, yet again! Still, onwards and upwards I thought ….tomorrow is another day and with the office move complete, it should be a good day. I had several training activities lined up for Tuesday.    What could possibly go wrong?
Tuesday morning: Up early and ready to leave home when I received a text from my boss advising me to “come at 11.30, we are still shifting”. Grrr, more delays! Still, at least they are “shifting”, that’s a good sign. I arrived at the new office at the designated time only to find the office door locked. Grrr, more delays! Finally, after 1pm my boss turned up to tell me that the vehicle that they had hired to do the shifting had been impounded by the Police for having no insurance.   You couldn’t make it up!!!!

We did manage to get some chairs transported in my boss’s car but the rest of furniture was too big. In desperation, I called upon another local VSO volunteer who has a pick-up but unfortunately, he was busy. The only solution left was for me to lend my boss some money to hire another vehicle to move the furniture. In this context, ‘hire’ means paying somebody with a big enough vehicle to do it. At 4pm, I was sent home and told to await a text message in the morning advising me when to come in…!!

Wednesday morning: I am at home, writing this blog. It is a little after 10:30am and, so far, no text…! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr………!!!!

To be continued……

Special personal message...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNNIE ONE TAFF!!!!
Thinking of you xxxx